TOP TEN REASONS WHY THE CHURCH IS STILL THE HOPE OF THE WORLD:
10. It’s the largest volunteer base in the world: people who work for free usually work harder.
9. It shows compassion for the least of these: it takes more than money; it takes people and God’s love to change lives.
8. It changes people’s lives: it still deals with the most fundamental problem of humanity (sin).
7. It causes civilizations to flourish: hospitals and universities, charities and community centers (YMCA), nursing homes, and elementary schools ALL originated with the Church.
6. It liberates captives: the freeing of slaves, the liberation of women, the relief for the poor, and the legalization of immigrants are ALL rooted in the Church’s mission to set captives free.
5. It preserves orthodoxy: we become what we worship and the church regulates our worship.
4. It strengthens community life: it turns strangers into family and provides a structure for belonging.
3. It is the most generous community: our members contribute more to charity, than all other organizations on the planet put together.
2. It is our only chance at true diversity: diversity is a theological argument, before it’s a legal or political argument.
1. Jesus is partial to us: you can’t love Jesus and hate his “bride.”
TOP TEN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR IN CHURCH
10. Nothing inspires me like our annual stewardship campaign!
9. I was so moved, I didn’t notice your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
8. You know, I find witnessing more fun than golf.
7. We are going to give our church the money I’ve been sending to TV evangelists.
6. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the junior high boys’ class.
5. Let’s pay our pastor so he can live like we do.
4. I love it most when we sing songs I’ve never heard before.
3. Everyone is here! Let’s start the service early.
2. Let’s send the pastor to the Bible conference in the Bahamas.
1. Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew!
TOP TEN EXCUSES ACTUALLY GIVEN FOR MISSING CHURCH
10. Stayed up too late Saturday.
9. Drank too much.
8. Didn’t sleep well . . . Friday night.
7. Didn’t have any clean clothes to wear.
6. Went to another church we’re thinking about joining.
5. Today is Sanctity of Life Sunday, and I knew you would talk about how abortion is a sin, but I don’t think it is.
4. Not enough gas to get there.
3. My hemorrhoids flared up really bad.
2. I was “spending time” with my spouse.
1. Some of the best TV news shows are on Sunday morning.